So working in an ER is always full of exciting stories, especially when the ER is a level 1 trauma center. It never ceases to amaze me the way people get hurt (It amazes me even more what people live through)! However, while traumas are really exciting, my other patients are always good for a little laugh. Here are just a few stories for the week... (keep in mind that my hospital is inner-city and racially diverse :)
1. An 86 year old women came in complaining of chest pain. Like most 86 year old women, she wore the traditional nylon stockings, old women shoes, hot pink lip stick, and fake pearls.... are you getting the picture? Well, turns out she was having a heart attack, but at 86, that can be expected. However, on a routine urine drug screen, our little feeble 86 year old woman tested positive for cocaine. (for those who don't know, cocaine can cause heart attacks, we call this Crack-i-cardia) HA HA, COCAINE at 86! Can you believe it! Well, to make this story even better, our 86 year old lady also tested positive for STD's...Yikes! Does that create a bad image or what?!
2. A 20 year old girl comes into the ER for complaints of abdominal pain. She is the mother of 4 children with her youngest baby only 4 months old. Crazy huh..! Well, as part of the routine questions, I asked this girl when her last cycle was and if there was a possibility that she could be pregnant. She says, "Oh absolutely not! I'm a virgin!" Well like most of you, I was confused. You don't have 4 children at the age of 20 and say your a virgin. So I say, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought you said you have 4 kids..." She then replies in an annoyed tone, "Uhh, I'm a born-again virgin, duh! haha, oh so sorry!
3. A 46 year old man comes in complaining of foot pain. He also has a history of diabetes. (For those who don't know, people with diabetes are prone to foot problems and infections. For this reason, many diabetics will end up with feet being amputated) As part of the examination, we have the man take off his shoes and socks. Don't worry, his right foot was so infected that it had turned black. It also had a huge gaping whole by the toes with green drainage seeping out. To make it even better, he had maggots (yep, little bugs) crawling out of his foot wound! Anyone hungry?